Small steps and huge climbs

You could say this has been a year of steps. Small steps to get through the day, little steps forward, physical steps in fields and on hills, alone and with friends. There's been difficult steps I wasn't sure I could make, strides forward that seemed impossible, and huge achievements I never would have thought I could make at the end of last year.

 

 

Over the last few months I've delivered introductory sessions on emotional resilience to hundreds of young people, and they left me reflecting on my own coping strategies. The sessions are simpler than you might think. I talk about building a bank of positive wellbeing activities, and remembering the small things you can do everyday to boost your mood. As simple as it sounds these can be invaluable steps to building your own emotional resilience.

At my lowest point last year I woke up every morning having barely slept, feeling like just getting through the day was going to be impossible. I'd come downstairs, make a coffee, and then another, and another, and another. I'd breakdown, I'd cry, and then I'd put on Netflix and switch off all my thoughts. I'd stay that way for hours, thinking only about a TV show for as long as I possibly could. Perhaps initially that doesn't sound very positive at all, but think of it this way, I got through the day, and the one after, and the one after that. Looking back I can see that I was defaulting to some of my most basic coping strategies and habits. In my day to day life when I wake up and need to find the energy to get myself geared up for work, I start the day with a coffee. When I've had an insanely busy week and have got home late and exhausted, I crash out in front of Netflix and totally switch off. These are the things that sometimes help we through a normal day, and they were the things that I just about managed to cling to when it felt like everything else had fallen away.

Eventually I drank less coffee and watched less TV. I managed to get outside, to go for a walk, to reach out to others, and to let myself feel a little more each day, both the good and the bad. I managed to go for a run and felt the biggest sense of momentary freedom and release. I wrote, I drew, I painted, I ate, I slept, I did the washing, and sometimes I drank coffee and watched Netflix. I built myself up bit by bit, and I keep doing it again, and again and again. Building that internal strength isn't a one off process, it's something that we have to keep doing, and always be mindful of. Striving to never have to battle for it is an impossible task, we can only hope to have the strength and the resilience to keep going.

For me the walking and the running turned to training. I completed two 10ks and a half marathon. An amazing hiking team was formed, we walked the peak district, we conquered the Yorkshire 3 peaks, and this weekend we took on the big 3 climbing Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon. We battled weather, emotions, the dark and exhaustion, and as a team raised an amazing amount for a very important cause. It took every bit of strength, resilience, grit and determination I had to battle those mountains. So this morning, now that I'm safe and warm at home, I've drank lots of coffee and watched lots of Netflix.

Keep stepping forward everyone, we all have our challenges, some large and some small. Cling to what you need to when things are tough, be kind to yourself, remember how important it is to do what you love, and make the most of all the amazing moments when they happen.